Daily Joke: Deep thoughts for the middle of the week

Jun 16, 2021
What thoughts keep you awake in the middle of the night? Source: Getty Images

Last night I played a blank CD at full blast. The mime next door went crazy!

 

Just think how much deeper the oceans would be if sponges didn’t live there.

 

I went for a walk last night and my kids asked, “How long will you be gone?” I said, “The whole time.”

 

If you’re sending someone Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

 

I got a couple of skylights put in at my place. The people who live in the apartment above me are furious.

 

Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?

 

Tell someone there are 400 million stars in the sky and they will believe you. Tell them that the bench they are about to sit on has wet paint, and they have to touch it.

 

Why is it that fake lemon juice contains mostly artificial flavours, but dishwashing liquid contains ‘real lemons’?

 

I went to the bookshop and asked the salesperson where the self-help section was. She replied, “If I tell you, won’t that defeat the purpose?”

 

After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting out of the water?

 

Need another laugh? Have a look at some of our other great jokes here.

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