6 hilarious jokes about dining out at a restaurant

Daily Joke: Two men were eating in a restaurant

Two men were in a restaurant and ordered fish. The waiter brought a dish with two fish, one larger than the other.

One of the men said to the other: “Please help yourself.”

The other one smiled and helped himself to the larger fish. After a tense silence, the first one said: “Really, now, if you had offered me the first choice, I would have taken the smaller fish!”

The other one replied: “What are you complaining for? You have it, don’t you?”

Daily Joke: A customer walked into an ice cream store

A customer walked into an ice cream store. He asked the server: “What flavours of ice cream do you have?”

“Vanilla, strawberry and chocolate,” answered the new waitress in a hoarse whisper.

Trying to be sympathetic, the customer asked: “Do you have laryngitis?”

“Um, no” replied the new waitress with a bit of confusion. “Just, um, vanilla, strawberry and chocolate.”

Daily Joke: An out-of-towner went to dinner

An out-of-towner visited a busy city in the peak of tourist season and decided to revisit an uptown restaurant he’d enjoyed on a previous trip.

Finally, catching the eye of an overworked waiter, he said: “You know, it’s been over five years since I first came in here.”

“You’ll have to wait your turn, sir,” replied the harried and now irritated waiter. “I can only serve one table at a time.”

Daily Joke: Two bankers ate at a diner

Two bankers went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat.

The waiter became quite concerned, marched over and told them: “You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here!”

The bankers looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.

Daily Joke: A waiter brings a customer a steak

A waiter brings a customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat.

“Are you crazy?” yelled the customer. “What are you doing with your hand on my steak?”

“What?” answers the waiter. “You want it to fall on the floor again?”

Daily Joke: A waiter asked the customers what they wanted

A waiter asked the customers what they wanted to drink: “Tea or coffee, gentlemen?”

The first man said: “I’ll have tea.”

The second man answered: “Me, too – and be sure the glass is clean!”

The waiter nodded and ran off to the kitchen. He returned quickly holding a tray with two cups. He looked at the customers and said: “Two teas. Which one asked for the clean glass?”

Need another laugh? Have a look at some of our other great jokes here.