A man walks into an animal hospital with his Bulldog and says: “My dog is cross-eyed, can you fix it?”
The vet replies: “Let’s have a look at whats wrong.”
The vet picks the dog up while examining his eyes. After thoroughly inspecting the dog for a few minutes, he says: “I’m going to have to put him down.”
“What?! You’re going to put him down because he’s cross-eyed?”
“No,” the vet replied. “Because he is really heavy.”
A woman lives with both a cat and dog. Everyday she feeds them, cleans up after them and provides them with plenty of love and attention.
The dog is very grateful. As the owner approaches the dog and fills his bowl with kibbles, the dog thinks: “Wow, you do all this for me, everyday. You must be god.”
The owner then walks over to the cat and gives her daily food. The cat thinks to herself: “Wow, you do all this for me, everyday. I must be god.”
A man called an airline customer-service desk asking if it was possible to fly with his dog onboard.
“Sure,” the airline agent said. “As long as you provide your own kennel.”
She continued to explain that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around and roll over in.
The customer was perplexed: “I’ll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!”
A woman walks into a psychologist’s office and says: “Doctor, my husband thinks he’s a dog! I don’t know what to do! Please help.”
The doctor replies: “Okay, have him get on the couch.”
The woman quickly snapped back: “Wait, no, he’s not allowed on the couch!”
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