Daily Joke: Little Johnny watched his mother apply face cream

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.

“Why do you do that, mummy?” he asked.

“To make myself beautiful,” said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.

“What’s the matter?” asked Johnny. “Giving up?”

Daily Joke: Ole and Lena were listening to the weather report

Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual morning cup of coffee, listening to the weather report coming over the radio.

“There will be substantial snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared,” the weather report said. “You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets.”

Ole groans and gets up from his coffee to move the car

The next day they’re sitting down with their morning cups of coffee and the weather forecast declares: “There is still substantial snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the even numbered side of the streets.”

Again, Ole groans and gets up from his coffee to move the car.

Two days later, again they’re sitting down with their cups of coffee and the weather forecast says: “There is still substantial snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the …”

Just then the power goes out and Ole doesn’t get the rest of the instructions.

He turns to Lena and says: “Jeez, what am I going to do now, Lena?”

Lena replies: “Aw, Ole, why don’t you just leave the car in the garage today?”

Daily Joke: A three-year-old boy opened his birthday gift from his grandmother

A three-year-old boy opened his birthday gift from his grandmother and he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. However his mother was not so pleased.

The mother turned to the grandmother and said: “I’m surprised at you. Don’t you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?”

The grandmother smiled and replied: “Oh yes, I remember.”

Need another laugh? Have a look at some of our other great jokes here.