Daily Joke: Harry came home from the pub to his upset wife

Every night after dinner, Harry took off for the local watering hole. He would spend the whole evening there and always return home at around midnight each night.

He usually had trouble getting his key to fit the keyhole and couldn’t get the door open. And, every time this happened, his wife would go to the door and let him in. Then, she would proceed to yell and scream at him for his constant nights out and coming home in a drunken state. But, Harry still continued his nightly routine.

One day, the distraught wife was talking to a friend about her husband’s behaviour. The friend listened and suggested: “Why don’t you treat him a little differently when he comes home? Instead of berating him, why don’t you give him some loving words and welcome him home with a kiss? Then, he might change his ways.” The wife thought this might be a good idea.

That night, Harry took off again after dinner. And, at about midnight, he arrived home in his usual condition.

His wife heard him at the door. She quickly opened it and let Harry in. Instead of beating him as she had always done, this time she took his arm and led him into the living room. She sat Harry down in an easy chair, put his feet up on the foot stool, and took his shoes off. Then, she went behind him and started to cuddle him a little. After a short while, she whispered to Harry: “It’s pretty late, dear. I think we should go upstairs to bed now, don’t you think?”

Harry replied in his inebriated state: “Heck, I guess we might as well. I’ll get in trouble when I get home anyway!”

Daily Joke: A newly married man came home after work to an empty house

A newly married man came home after work to an empty house. After searching around for his wife for a while, he finally found the note she had left on the refrigerator.

It read: “Had to stay back at work but wanted to make you dinner! It’s on the stove, you only have to light it. Gas is already turned on. Love you!”

Daily Joke: It’s true that men never listen

Max and his wife Lola received a letter from their daughter who had gone to study overseas.

She wrote: “My beloved parents, I miss you so much and it breaks my heart to think that by the time I get back, you will be so old. Therefore, I am enclosing a bottle of a red potion that I have invented. It will make you five years younger, and so when I return, you will be the same age as I left you. Please, take only a drop. Goodbye I love you!”

They opened the envelope and found the bottle with the red potion.

Max looked at his wife and said: “You go first.”

Lola took a drop and when she indeed turned 5 years younger, Max embraced his turn.

Years later, the daughter returns home to find her mother. She is younger and happier, and she is carrying a baby on her back. She tells her daughter how the potion worked and how it has made her look younger. The daughter is happy and she asks about her father.

“Your father? Hmmm! You know how men don’t listen! He drank the whole bottle.”

“What! Where is he?”

“Who do you think is on my back?”

Need another laugh? Have a look at some of our other great jokes here.