She asked: “Why don’t you ever wear your wedding band?”
He replied: “It cuts off my circulation.”
She answered back: “It’s supposed to!”
Three older men are walking around the golf course, when they get on to the subject of their children and become a little boastful.
“My son’s doing so well as a lawyer,” one man starts. “He’s making so much cash that he bought his friend a fantastic red sports car.”
Not to be outdone, the second man chimes in. “Well, my son’s a doctor and he’s rolling in money. In fact, he’s making so much that he bought his friend a fabulous mansion,” the man said proudly.
The third man looked a little shame-faced.
“Well, I can’t say my son’s career is quite as lucrative – he’s an actor in gay porn movies,” he says, as his friends look shocked.
“Still,” the man continues, brightening up a little. “He can’t be doing too badly for himself, because he does have a fabulous mansion and a very nice new red sports car.”
A new teacher tries some reverse psychology on her students.
“Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!”
After a few seconds, Gemma stands.
“Do you really think you’re stupid, Gemma?” the teacher asks.
“No, ma’am,” says Gemma. “But I hate to see you standing there all by yourself.”