Ready, set, go! 4 hilarious jokes about going for a run

A man decided to take up jogging

Deciding to take up jogging, the man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoes, he noticed a minor feature and asked the worker: “What is this little pocket thing here on the side for?”.

And the worker answered: “Oh, that’s to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you’ve jogged too far”.

A man was taking a break from driving across the country

A man had been driving all night to see his girlfriend at a university across the country and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop at the next city he came to and park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep.

As luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be on one of the city’s major jogging routes. No sooner had he settled back to snooze when there came a knocking on his window. He looked out and saw a jogger running in place. “Yes?” he asked.

“Excuse me, sir,” the jogger said, “Do you have the time?”.

The man looked at the car clock and answered: “8:15”. The jogger said thanks and left.

The man settled back again, and was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window and another jogger. “Excuse me, sir, do you have the time?”.

“8:25!” he said, slightly annoyed.

The jogger said thanks and left. Now the man could see other joggers passing by and he knew it was only a matter of time before another one disturbed him. To avoid the problem, he got out a pen and paper and put a sign in his window saying: “I do not know the time!”.

Once again he settled back to sleep. He was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window. “Sir, sir? It’s 8:45!”.

Two workers were checking meters

Two workers – one an experienced supervisor and the other a new trainee – were out checking meters in a suburban neighbourhood. They parked their truck at one end of the street and worked their way to the other end.

At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her meter. Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger co-worker to a running race down the street back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one.

As they came running up to the truck, they realised the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong.

Gasping for breath, she replied: “When I see two people check a meter, then run as fast away from it as you two were, I figured I’d better run too!”.

A man was telling his girlfriend she works out too much

A man was telling his girlfriend that he thinks she works out too much. “You waste time,” he said to her one morning as she was getting ready for a run.

“What makes you say that?” the girlfriend answered.

“Well you always talk about the ‘runner’s high’. You have to run 42km to feel it. I drink and smoke every night and I get the same feeling from walking up a flight of stairs.”