A man goes to the doctor. After examining him, the GP says: “You have some problems with your heart, but if you take these tablets I think it will be okay.”
So the doctor gives the man the tablets and the patient asks: “Do I have to take them every day?”
“No,” replies the doctor. “Take one on the Monday, skip the Tuesday, take one on the Wednesday, skip the Thursday and go on like that.”
Two weeks later the doctor is walking down the street and he sees the patient’s wife. “Hello Mrs Murphy,” he says. “How’s your husband?”
“Oh he died of a heart attack,” says Mrs Murphy.
“I’m very sorry to hear that,” says the doctor. “I thought if he took those tablets he would be all right.”
“Oh the tablets were fine,” says Mrs Murphy. “It was all the bloody skipping that killed him!”
One afternoon at the bar, a man was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here’s how it went:
“Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.
“This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
“In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.
“In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”
Proudly Australian owned and operated