Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked: “What are you doing there, Nancy?”
“My goldfish died,” replied Nancy tearfully without looking up, “and I’ve just buried him.”
The neighbour was very concerned. “That’s an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?”
Nancy patted down the last heap of dirt then replied: “That’s because he’s inside your cat.”
A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said: “Mama, I don’t want to go out there. It’s dark.”
The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. “You don’t have to be afraid of the dark,” she explained. “Jesus is out there. He’ll look after you and protect you.”
The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked: “Are you sure he’s out there?”
“Yes, I’m sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him,” she said.
The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called: “Jesus? If you’re out there, would you please hand me the broom?”
A couple were at their granddaughter’s wedding reception, and the DJ polled the guests to see who had been married longest. It turned out to be the grandparents. The DJ asked them: “What advice would you give to the newly married couple?”
The grandmother said: “The three most important words in a marriage are, ‘You’re probably right.'”
Everyone then looked at her husband. He said: “She’s probably right.”
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