A bus load of tourists arrives at Runnymede. They gather around the guide who says: “This is the spot where the barons forced King John to sign the Magna Carta.”
A fellow at the front of the crowd asks: “When did that happen?”
“1215,” answers the guide.
The man looks at his watch and says: “Damn! Just missed it by a half hour!”
A shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively. “Would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?”
To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs: “No, I won’t sleep with you tonight!”
Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologises. She smiles at him and says: “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I’m a psychologist and I’m doing a study to see how people respond to embarrassing situations.”
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs: “What do you mean $200?”
A person checks into a hotel for the first time in his life, and goes up to his room. Five minutes later he calls the desk and say, “You’ve given me a room with no exit. How do I leave?”
The desk clerk says, “Sir, that’s absurd. Have you looked for the door?”
The person says, “Well, there’s one door that leads to the bathroom. There’s a second door that goes into the closet. And there’s a door I haven’t tried, but it has a ‘do not disturb’ sign on it.”
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