Relationships

Gran forced to live life online after husband leaves her ‘insanely bored’

Jun 24, 2018

Couples can handle retirement very differently. (Photo posed by model).

A desperate grandma has admitted having to spend her entire social life online after being left “insanely bored” by her husband following retirement.

While some couples embrace a life of freedom with no kids living at home, or jobs tying them down, others struggle to cope after leaving their working lives behind them and once again spending almost every hour of the day with their spouse.

Now, one woman, 68, has pleaded for advice from other grandparents and retirees on social forum Gransnet, as she’s been left feeling stranded in her remote home – even struggling to get public transport on her own due to arthritis in her feet and bad ME.

“I can go weeks without talking to a living person apart from the postman, so my social life is mostly online. I’m in loads of groups and have many friends and that’s ok. But life at home is not,” she explained.

Blaming her 72-year-old husband’s love of his simple “routine”, which includes cutting the grass and house chores, she admitted she feels isolated and angry with her spouse for his inaction.

“Apart from fabulously exciting trips to Costco or Aldi once in a while, we don’t go anywhere. At all. I’ve argued, yelled, discussed it reasonably, cried. All I get is looked at as if I’ve sprouted two heads and total silence,” she wrote.

“If I really go on at him then I get ‘I’ll take you, ok?’ – but he never takes me anywhere. What can I do?”

While she said she’d love to go out on her own, she feels stuck as her feet mean she can’t walk long distances, and added: “The old me would have gone out and left the sod to get on with it – and I did, often. The bus stop isn’t too far away. But since I got ill and in such pain with the feet, that isn’t so easy any more.”

She got a huge response from other grandmothers, with many questioning why the couple lived so remotely in the first place. Others recommended she research other public transport methods such as taxis, or even try a mobilised scooter.

“Apologies but is it not time for a move? Somewhere a little less remote? Hopefully gain a bit more independence,” one wrote, while another added: “Do you have a friend who could take you to the local Garden Centre they have wheelchairs if the friend could push you round?”

One more recommended: “I have gone places on my own or with friends for decades. There is no need to curtail your life; and no need for him to go out if it’s not his thing.”

Another lady even offered to meet the woman for a coffee, despite living hours apart, and others sympathised with her situation – saying they had experienced similar ones.

She eventually responded to the kind replies, saying: “I think I’d find it hard to go back to civilisation – I have sheep and hawks and dark skies and peace here.

“The only blot on the landscape is the one I’m married to LOL! I’d give a kidney to get away for a weekend but somebody ‘likes my own bed’ and has decided the cat would so traumatised if we left overnight that he couldn’t live with the guilt. I know the cat sits there and wishes to hell we would go and give her some peace…”