A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn’t paying attention, so she asks him: “If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?”
“None,” Johnny says
The teacher asks: “Why?”
“Because the shot scared them all off,” Johnny says.
“No, two, but I like how you’re thinking,” the teacher adds.
Johnny asks the teacher: “If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlour, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?”
“The one sucking her ice cream,” the teacher replies.
“No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you’re thinking!” Johnny says.
Harry was finally a groom and was very excited about his upcoming marriage.
He was on his way out of the office when his boss came over to him with an outstretched hand: “Congratulations Harry! I just wanted to tell you I’ve been married for twenty two years, and I am sure that you will always remember this day with the fondest of memories, as the happiest day of your life.”
“But sir”, said Harry, a little bit confused, “I’m not getting married until tomorrow!”
“Yeah, I know,” said his boss.
The year is 1957 and Lance picks up his date, Mary-Kate. Mary-Kate’s father answers the door and invites him inside.
He asks Lance what they’re planning on doing for their date. Lance explains that they’ll share a milkshake at the local café and head to the drive-in theatre to catch a movie.
“Why don’t you kids go out and screw?” Mary-Kate’s father suggests. “I hear all the kids are doing it.”
Lance is shocked by what he’s just heard. “Excuse me, sir?” he says. “What did you say?”
“Oh yes,” the father replies. “Mary-Kate loves to screw. She will screw all night if we let her.”
Eventually, Mary-Kate makes her way downstairs and the pair head out for their date. About 10 minutes later, Mary-Kate arrives home without Lance.
“Dad!” she screams. “It’s the Twist! The dance is called the Twist!”