A woman and a baby were in the GP’s examining room, waiting for the doctor to conduct the baby’s first exam. The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight and, seeming a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.
“Breast-fed,” she replied.
“Strip down to your waist,” the doctor said. So she did. The doctor pinched her breasts, then pressed, kneaded, and rubbed for a while as he carried out a detailed examination. Motioning her to get dressed, he said: “No wonder this baby is underweight, you don’t have any milk.”
“I know,” she said. “I’m his Grandma, but I’m glad I came.”
A man was telling his neighbour: “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect”.
“Really?” answered the neighbour. “What kind is it?”
A husband and wife were grocery shopping. The husband picked up a carton of beer and puts it in the trolley.
“What are you doing?” asked the wife
“They’re on sale, only 10 bucks for 24 cans.”
“Put them back, we can’t afford them” the wife responded.
Later on, she puts a $20 jar of face cream in the cart.
“What are you doing?” asked the husband.
“It’s my face cream, it makes me look beautiful” she said.
“Yeah, so does the 24 cans of beer and it’s half the price!”
No one has heard from the husband since.