Little Johnny was talking to his mum after school one day.
βMum, my teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school.β
βThatβs nice of her to take such an interest, dear. What did she say when you told her you are the only child?β
Little Johnny shrugged and said: βShe just said, βThank goodness!'β
A very wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties and is contemplating proposing.
βDo you think sheβd marry me if I tell her Iβm 45?β he asked a friend.
βYour chances are better,β said the friend. βIf you tell her youβre 90.β
A teenager was entering his senior year of high school. His father, a Baptist preacher, made a deal with him.
βSon, if you get straight Aβs for the entire year, and if you cut off that long hippy hair, I will buy you the car of your choice when you graduate.β
The son accepted the challenge and worked very hard all year. He got the best grades of his life and graduated top of his class.
βWell, Dad. I held up my end of the bargain. Top of my class. Iβll take a Ford Mustang, red.β
The dad smiled and said: βWell done, son. Your grades are impressive. Now all you need to do is cut your hair and the car is yours.β
βBut dad,β the son protested. βWhatβs wrong with my hair being long? Youβre a preacher. Jesus even had long hair!β
βYep,β said the dad. βAnd notice how he walked everywhere he went too.β