A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom.
The little boy turned to his mother and said: “Mama, I don’t want to go out there. It’s dark.”
The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. “You don’t have to be afraid of the dark,” she explained. “Jesus is out there. He’ll look after you and protect you.”
The little boy looked at his mother with a confused stare and asked: “Are you sure he’s out there?”
“Yes, I’m sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him,” she said.
The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called: “Jesus? If you’re out there, would you please hand me the broom?”
A census taker knocked on a woman’s door to interview her.
The census taker asked: “How many children do you have? And what are their names?”
“Four,” the woman responded. “Their names are Eenie, Meenie, Minie and George.”
Confused, the census taker said: “Okay, that’s fine. But may I ask why you named your fourth child George?”
The woman responded: “Because we didn’t want any Moe.”
A journalist assigned to the Jerusalem bureau takes an apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. Every day when she looks out, she sees an old Jewish man praying vigorously. So one day the journalist goes down and introduces herself to the old man.
She asks: “You come every day to the wall. How long have you done that and what are you praying for?”
The old man replies: “I have come here to pray every day for 25 years. In the morning I pray for world peace and then for the brotherhood of man. I go home have a cup of tea and I come back and pray for the eradication of illness and disease from the earth.”
The journalist is amazed. “How does it make you feel to come here every day for 25 years and pray for these things?” she asks.
The old man looks at her sadly. “Like I’m talking to a wall.”