The buttered miracle 93



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Murphy drops some buttered toast on the kitchen floor and it lands butter-side-up.

He looks down in astonishment, for he knows that it’s a law of nature of the universe that buttered toast always falls butter-down.

So he rushes round to the presbytery to fetch Father Flanagan.

He tells the priest that a miracle has occurred in his kitchen.

But he won’t say what it is, so he asks Fr. Flanagan to come and see it with his own eyes.

He leads Fr. Flanagan into the kitchen and asks him what he sees on the floor.

“Well,” says the priest, “it’s pretty obvious. Someone has dropped some buttered toast on the floor and then, for some reason, they flipped it over so that the butter was on top”.

“No, Father, I dropped it and it landed like that!” exclaimed Murphy.

“Oh my Lord,” says Fr. Flanagan, “dropped toast never falls with the butter side up. It’s a miracle! Wait… it’s not for me to say it’s a miracle. I’ll have to report this matter to the Bishop and he’ll have to deal with it. He’ll send some people round; to interview you, take photos, etc..”

A thorough investigation is conducted, not only by the archdiocese but by scientists sent over from the Curia in Rome.

No expense is spared. 

There is great excitement in the town as everyone knows that a miracle will bring in much needed tourism revenue.

Then, after 8 long weeks and with great fanfare, the Bishop announces the final ruling.

“It is certain that some kind of an extraordinary event took place in Murphy’s kitchen, quite outside the natural laws of the universe.

“Yet the Holy See must be very cautious before ruling a miracle. 

“All other explanations must be ruled out.

“Unfortunately, in this case, it has been declared ‘No Miracle’ because they think that Murphy may have buttered the toast on the wrong side!”

Thank you to Brian for this one! If you want to read some other great jokes, click here. Or to submit one of your own to share with the Starts at 60 community, click here.

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  1. Thanks, Brian. It’s a grand story first told to me by an Irish cousin while out here on holiday from Cobh. As he said, it’s perfect Irish logic.

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