‘My husband says my pension should go into our joint account’

Opening a joint account with your partner can come with its complications, and one woman learned that the hard way after revealing her husband wants her to put both her state and private pensions into their joint account to pay for household expenses.

Posting on Gransnet, the woman in her mid-sixties asked if she should insist that she has an allowance from her pensions “to spend as I wish”. She wrote: “I am one of those women who have only just got my State Pension in my mid sixties. I have a small private pension.”

The anonymous woman went on to explain: “My DH [darling husband] says both my pensions should go into the joint account to pay towards household expenses.”

She went on to explain that her husband has a large private pension “part of which goes into the joint account” and the rest of which he presumably keeps for himself. 

She added: “He queries any withdrawals I make from the account. How do other Gransnetters deal with financial issues and should I insist that I have an allowance to spend as I wish?” 

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The post generated plenty of responses, with many calling her husband “controlling”. “I would be very upset if my husband queried withdrawals I have made,” one woman wrote. 

Another said: “If he asks what you spend money on it does sound a bit controlling.”

While one woman added: “Should you insist you have an allowance!!! – an allowance from your OWN money!!! What madness is this?”

While many supported the woman for questioning her husband’s query, others didn’t see the problem, saying “they share everything” with their partner. 

One user wrote: “We shared everything from the day we married. When I gave up work to have the children (and didn’t go back), we carried on just the same, everything shared. Now I get an occupational pension, it goes into the joint account, as does OH’s [husband] state and private pensions.”

Another said: “We have always had one joint account. Never his or hers. Never any bother either.”

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Other online users offered helpful advise, saying she should sit down with her husband and talk it through. “All I can advise is talking to him … you are at a time in life where you need to enjoy your life and be free to make your own choices,” recommended one woman.

Do you share an account with your partner? Do you ask before taking out money?

IMPORTANT LEGAL INFO This article is of a general nature and FYI only, because it doesn’t take into account your financial or legal situation, objectives or needs. That means it’s not financial product or legal advice and shouldn’t be relied upon as if it is. Before making a financial or legal decision, you should work out if the info is appropriate for your situation and get independent, licensed financial services or legal advice.