Lawyers have been the subject of jokes for generations — and for good reason. Their reputation for long hours, detailed time sheets and clever arguments has inspired some truly memorable punchlines over the years.
From heavenly accounting errors to unexpected train journeys, these classic lawyer jokes prove that a little courtroom humour can go a long way. If you enjoy a good laugh, these three are sure to deliver.
An American, traveling on a train in Europe, met a Cuban tobacco grower, a Russian vodka distiller and a lawyer.
While they were talking business, the Cuban took out four cigars and passed them around. After lighting his own cigar, the Cuban took one drag and then threw it out the window, explaining that cigars were of no consequence in his country since there was such an abundance of them.
After dinner, the Russian passed out bottles of vodka. After taking just one swig, he threw the bottle out the window, explaining that vodka was of no consequence since, in Russia, it was so plentiful.
The American businessman sat in quiet contemplation for several minutes, then arose … and threw the lawyer out the window.
A lawyer dies and goes to Heaven. “There must be some mistake,” the lawyer argues. “I’m too young to die. I’m only 55.” “Fifty-five?” says Saint Peter. “No, according to out calculations, you’re 82.” “How’d you get that?” the lawyer asks. Answers St. Peter, “We added up your time sheets.”
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl’s grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, “Mummy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?” “Of course not, dear,” replied the mother, “Why would you think that?” “The tombstone back there said… ‘Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'”
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