Marriage has long been a rich source of humour, from playful misunderstandings to cheeky one-liners that hit a little too close to home. These three classic jokes shine a light on family life and relationships – with a twist you might not see coming.
The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which one should have the present. “Who is the most obedient?” he asked. “Who never talks back to mother? Who does everything she says?”
Five small voices answered in unison. “Okay, dad, you get the toy.”
A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself. “You don’t have to let your wife bully you,” he said. “Go home and show her you’re the boss.” The husband decided to take the doctor’s advice. He went home, slammed the door, saw his wife and growled, “From now on you’re taking orders from me. I want my supper right now, and after you get it on the table, go upstairs and lay out my clothes. Tonight I am going out with the boys. You are going to stay at home where you belong. Another thing, you know who is going to tie my bow tie?” “I certainly do,” said his wife calmly, “the undertaker.”
On a long-distance train journey, a man and a woman accidentally ended up in the same sleeping cabin. Both were married, but they didn’t know each other. At first it was a bit awkward and uncomfortable, but since they were very tired, they soon fell asleep. The man slept on the upper berth and the woman on the lower berth. Around 1am, the man woke up because it was cold. He slowly leaned down and woke the woman, saying, “Excuse me, ma’am, sorry to disturb you, but I’m feeling very cold. Could you please take out another blanket from the drawer?” The woman smiled and replied, “I have a better idea. Just for tonight, why don’t we behave like husband and wife?” The man was stunned! With sweets bursting in his mind, he happily said, “Wow! What a great idea! Sure!” The woman immediately said, “Then stop being lazy… go and get your own blanket yourself!”
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