The Comebacks That Get Better With Age (And Marriage!)

After 25 years of marriage, you learn a few things. Mostly patience … occasionally restraint … and, if you’re lucky, the perfect comeback line delivered with impeccable timing.

Because let’s be honest — a sharp wit is one of life’s great survival skills, right up there with knowing where the good biscuits are hidden. And sometimes, the best lines don’t start arguments… they end them, with a laugh.

Take this classic exchange from a long-married couple — proof that if you’re going to dish it out, you’d better be ready to take it right back.

Married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said, “Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blond.
Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I’m sleeping with a 50 year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things.”
My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old blonde, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed.

Here’s some other great comeback lines you could use ….

Your secrets are always safe with me. I never even listen when you tell me them.

You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.

I’d give you a nasty look, but you’ve already got one.

Someday you’ll go far. I hope you stay there.

You should really come with a warning label.