Six medical jokes so bad they’re actually good for your health

They say laughter is the best medicine – and if that’s true, consider this your prescription. These six medical jokes are gloriously, shamelessly bad. The kind of puns that make you groan first and grin immediately after, whether you want to or not. We’re not apologising. The doctor said we needed more joy in our lives, and frankly, a vampire who can’t stop coffin and a cardiac specialist who needs to de-fib you later is exactly what the doctor ordered. Read on if you dare – and do try to keep your patients.

I mixed up the cardiac resuscitation equipment with the lie detector, but I will de-fib you later.

Why are pediatricians always agitated? Because they have little patients!

I have a joke about the flu, but I hope you don’t get it.

Why did Dracula go to the doctor? He couldn’t stop coffin.

You can hear the blood in your veins if you listen varicosely.

The doctor told his patient to stop using a Q-Tip, but it went in one ear and out the other.