Q: My partner (73yrs) can get an erection but he now finds it hard to actually have an orgasm. What can we do?

Being able to maintain an erection is a wonderful thing for both you and your partner. It is also very normal to find having an orgasm difficult. We often feel a lot of pressure around having to orgasm and that it is not “real” sex unless we do. However, there are many wonderful ways to enjoy sex without an orgasm. 

Firstly, take the pressure off having an orgasm as that will just make it less likely to happen. Instead, focus on the sensation of touch, have your partner enjoy the feeling of being hard and start to explore all the places around the penis, testicles and anus that feel great to touch. They will discover new and wonderful pleasurable sensations they may not have experienced before. 

It is also a great opportunity for you and your partner to take the time to explore what YOU like, what turns you on and perhaps discover new parts of your body that feel great to touch or new ways that bring you to heightened pleasure and orgasm. 

I love using a situation like this to look at different external stimulations to bring you both to arousal. Are there any sex toys that either of you would like to try? Or play out different roles in the bedroom? Or perhaps listening to an audio sex story together will fire up your desire in a new and exciting way?

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