When my daughter told me that I was a ‘helicopter grandma’ I was astounded, was I doing the wrong thing being alert to what my grandkids are getting up to, especially if there is water around, or cars or well, anything dangerous. Stairs, steps, balcony railings – I was there hovering away and not relaxing and just enjoying the antics and actions of the kids. I was worried when my ten year old grandson rode off on his bike to the shops and hovered in the front drive till he returned and pretended to be watching out for the postie. Am I stifling their independence? Yes probably, and as I am not their primary caregiver, I am only a part time vigilant hoverer and hopefully it won’t ruin their psyche or stifle their independence. I thought about it and yes, the cap fits so I will wear it, but it made me ponder, why do I hover?
My own childhood, like many of us of around the 60 plus vintage, allowed us a fair bit of freedom. I would be gone from dawn to dusk if I could with my friends or my sister. A few apples, a packet of biscuits and we were off with no parental supervision at all. We swam in flooded rivers, climbed trees, built cubby’s and drove strange contraptions that would sail off down the hill and crash into the trees below. And we survived it all with a few broken bones and grazed shins. Is it because the world was a lot less dangerous then? Were there less serial killers and pedophiles? I’m not sure, I know when I saw a willy wagger lurking in the park I just had a good look and walked by and imparted the fascinating information to my mother, who just muttered “filthy beast” and would not when asked, tell me what he was doing. I knew instinctively to stay away, and as I usually was with other kids, we had protection in numbers.
Is this why, perhaps, when my grandson who is now twelve goes into a men’s toilet when he is with me that I hover at the door, much to the consternation of any men going in or out, and yell, “don’t talk to anyone, shut the door, straight in and straight out” much to his embarrassment. It was alright when he was a little boy and he could come into the ladies with me. The world has changed. My own children had far less freedom than I did when they were growing up. We were already sadly aware by then that the world was changing and our own children needed to be protected from many dangers, not only busy roads, rivers and pools, but people who are predatory towards children.
We live in times which have sadly seen many children taken from their families, abused and killed. Daniel Morcombe for one, a boy off on his own to catch the bus to do some shopping for Christmas, and little William Tyrell who’s angelic little face still haunts us as he has still not been found after disappearing from his front yard. Two boys who should be allowed to be independent and to still be safe, but the world that should be safe is sadly not safe for our kids and grandkids, so that is why I hover. Maybe I need to wear the badge proudly. My other three grandkids are still tiny, so keeping an eye on them is pretty normal. Being an ex preschool teacher, I’m used to being swivel headed with small children, anticipating danger and potential hazards, whilst hopefully not stifling creativity and the need to explore. Two year olds dart off in all directions, something I managed with my own kids with a pair of reins which are frowned upon these days.
So, I will wear the badge proudly, maybe get some made up and make a million dollars on eBay to ease my retirement years. Now, I’m off to get my rotors going, for my helicopter.
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