This joke about a duck, a barman and a circus ringmaster is the best thing you’ll read all day

A duck walks into a bar…

He sits at the bar and asks for a pot of beer and a meat pie.

The barman is stunned. A talking duck! ‘Wow, where did you come from?’ he asks.

‘I work across the road at the building site. I’m a plasterer’, replies the duck matter-of-factly. He opens his form guide and begins to read. The barman is in shock but lets him continue uninterrupted. The duck eats his food, pays and leaves.

All week the duck comes in and orders the same – a pot of beer and a meat pie. The barman has so many questions, but can’t bring himself to interrupt the duck during his meal.

Saturday rolls by and the duck doesn’t come in – obviously not working at the building site on the weekend. However, the circus is in town and in walks the circus ringmaster to whet his whistle.

The barman says to the ringmaster, ‘You won’t believe what I’ve seen this week! A talking duck!’

‘Wow! That’s incredible’ says the ringmaster.

‘Yeah, he walks in every lunchtime for a meat pie and a pot of beer, and studies the form guide. It’s amazing!’.

‘That IS amazing’, agrees the ringmaster. He hands the barman his card and says, ‘Tell him to give me a call. I could have work for a talking duck!’

So Monday lunchtime rolls around and in walks the duck who orders his meat pie and a pot of beer as usual.

The barman hands the business card to the duck and says ‘Sorry to disturb you, but a circus ringmaster was in the other day and I mentioned you’ve been in all last week. He told me to give you this, he might have some work for you.’

The duck looks confused and studies the card perplexed.

‘So, the circus?’ asks the duck.

‘Yeah, he came in on Saturday’, says the barman.

‘Where the humans live in caravans and the animals live in metal cages? And a canvas big top?’

‘Yeah, that’s right’.

The duck studies the card intently and pulls a face.

‘What the hell do they want a plasterer for?’