These accounting jokes will have you laughing all the way to the ledger

Whether you’ve spent your career in finance or you still hand everything to your accountant with your eyes firmly closed, there’s something deeply satisfying about a good numbers joke. These ones range from groan-worthy to genuinely clever – and if you’ve ever sat across from an accountant and wondered exactly what’s going on in their head, the second joke may explain everything.

Welcome to the accounting department! You take the credit; we process the debit.

A mathematician, a statistician and an accountant apply for the same job. The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks “What does two plus two equal?”

The mathematician replies “Four.” The interviewer asks “Four, exactly?” The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says “Yes, four, exactly.”

Then the interviewer calls in the statistician and asks the same question “What does two plus two equal?” The statistician says “On average, four – give or take ten percent, but on average, four.”

Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and poses the same question “What does two plus two equal?”

The accountant gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says “What do you want it to equal?”

What do constipated accountants do? Work it out with a pencil.

How do you know your son is going to be a CPA? When you read him the story of Cinderella and get to the part where the pumpkin turns into a golden carriage, he asks, “Daddy, is that ordinary income or a capital gain?”

Who leads accountants to battle? General Ledger.

How did the accountant propose to his girlfriend? With an engagement letter.