New Year’s Eve resolutions often begin with the best of intentions – and a healthy dose of optimism. But somewhere between midnight and mid-January, reality tends to creep in.
That’s where humour helps. These nine New Year’s Eve resolution one-liners capture the lighter side of starting over, poking fun at the promises we make to ourselves every year. Because sometimes the best resolution of all is not taking things too seriously.
Not to brag, but I already have a date for New Year’s Eve: Dec. 31.
My New Year’s resolution is to get better at pretending to know the words to “Auld Lang Syne.”
My New Year’s resolution was to read more, so I turned on the subtitles on my TV.
I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.
I made a New Year’s resolution to drink more water, but I’ve only gotten as far as “drink more.”
This New Year’s, I’ve resolved to lead a better life. Now all I have to do is find someone who will trade lives with me.
This New Year’s, I’m going to make a resolution I can keep: no dieting all year long.
My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolution.
New Year’s resolutions are just a to-do list for the first week of January.
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