Laughter is often said to be the best medicine – and these jokes come with no appointment required. From cheeky patients to quick-witted doctors, these eight medical-themed gags deliver a healthy dose of humour. Whether you’re waiting for test results or just need a pick-me-up, consider this your prescription for a better day.
Quasimodo goes to a doctor for an annual checkup. “I think something is wrong with your back,” the doctor says. “What makes you think that?” asks Quasimodo. “I don’t know,” the doctor replies. “It’s just a hunch.”
Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten cents last night? Nurse: No change yet.
Patient: Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake. Doctor: Next time, take off the candles.
Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news. Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first. Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live. Patient: 24 HOURS! That’s terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE? What’s the very bad news? Doctor: I’ve been trying to reach you since yesterday.
A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. He hasn’t been feeling well and wants to find out if he is ill. After the checkup, the doctor comes out with the results of the examination. “I’m afraid I have some bad news. You’re dying and you don’t have much time,” the doctor says. “Oh no, that’s terrible. How long have I got?” the man asks. “10…” says the doctor. “10? 10 what? Months? Weeks? What?!” he asks desperately. “10…9…8…7…”
What do you call a doctor who fixes websites? A URL-ologist.
Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side? He’s all right now!
Why did the rope go to the doctor? It had a knot in its stomach.
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