‘I don’t love him anymore’: Woman admits lockdown has made her question marriage

The coronavirus lockdown has caused major issues for people around the globe, from job losses to mental and physical health concerns. But even the prospect of being stuck inside for weeks on end with the same person, whether it be a partner, a friend or another family member, has created problems – and in some cases even led to the breakdown of relationships.

While it hasn’t gone that far just yet, one woman admitted she’s on the brink of separating from her husband after realising she’s no longer in love with the man she married. Writing on online forum Gransnet, the British woman reached out for support and asked for advice on whether she should try and rekindle the spark with her husband, or if it’s time to call it quits.

“Anyone out there who has totally different hobbies and like different things to their husbands?” she wrote recently. “Lockdown has made me realise what life will be like when he retires. I don’t love him anymore so feel like I should perhaps call our marriage a day and live on my own to do what I want, when I want. We have no children together, I’m 59, should I stay or go?”

Sadly, it’s a common problem faced by retirees, having spent the majority of their lives working, with only evenings, weekends and holidays spent in the confines of the home. But, it seems the Covid-19 pandemic has brought these worries to the forefront a little earlier than expected for this gran, and many people advised that perhaps it’s best to part ways early.

“In your situation I would go, it’s very difficult to live with somebody when you don’t love them,” one person commented on the post. “In time you’ll become resentful and every little thing he does will annoy you. It will also give him a chance to find another partner if that’s what he wants.”

Another agreed writing: “If there are no feelings left for him and you don’t love him anymore, I think you should get your finances in order and consider living on your own. I couldn’t live with my husband if I didn’t love him, it’s not fair on you or him. You’re already thinking about what life would be like when he retires, I would be speaking to him and explaining how you feel. You owe him that much.”

But, not everyone agreed, with some saying she should at least try to rekindle the spark that first brought them together and work to find things that they can enjoy together – especially considering restrictions aren’t going to be in place forever.

“If there’s any way you can salvage your marriage try and do so, as living alone isn’t easy,” someone said. “It might appear so at first until realisation kicks in that it’s long-term. Just because interests aren’t shared isn’t a queue to get out of a marriage, find a level playing ground where you can have your interests and leave him to find his.”

While another said: “I have had several conversations like this with friends recently. The stress of lockdown cannot be ignored here and life when he retires will be different to this. It may be that leaving the marriage is your best choice, but I would suggest wait until this is all over before making any decisions.”

Feeling a bit overwhelmed with all of the advice and insight into other people’s situations, the gran admitted it’s “not a good time at the moment”, but she would try to talk to her husband and gauge how he’s feeling as well. However, it seems perhaps the decision has already been made.

“I just get exhausted going round in circles saying the same things over again, so I usually just give up,” she said. “I’m his third wife, he has children from his other marriages, we only see one of them, the others after time just stopped seeing us. I have three children too, all left the nest. Finances are no problem as the house is mine.”