Gambling might be all about risk, luck, and chasing the big win – but sometimes the real jackpot is finding the funny side when things don’t quite go to plan. From “sure things” that weren’t to those almost moments, there’s no shortage of stories that are equal parts painful and hilarious.
So place your bets, keep your expectations low, and enjoy these jokes – because at least laughter always pays out.
My wife bet me I couldn’t do a butterfly impression. I thought to myself, that’s got to be worth a little flutter.
I backed a horse last week at ten to one. It came in at quarter past four.
A gambling gardener usually hedges his bets.
I was asked to leave the casino the other night. They said I had a chip on my shoulder.
A gambler walks into the butcher shop and says to the assistant behind the counter: “I bet you $100 you can’t get that meat down from the top shelf without a ladder.” The assistant looks up, turns to the gambler, and replies: “I’m afraid I can’t take that bet, sir. The steaks are too high.”
Gambling is really like eating pistachios. If you get a good pistachio, you want another good one. If you get a bad one, you want a good one even more. And that is gambling for you, in a nutshell.
My wife challenged me to a game of strip poker, but then I realized she just wanted to do laundry. So I folded.
Do you know what would make gambling hotlines better? Make every 5th call a winner.
I was walking down the road earlier and I tripped over a sign from the local betting shop. What are the odds on that?
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