Tuesday Giggle: Moses the Parrot, Quickie vs Quiche, and More Laughs

Hecklers Anonymous meeting … Tonight – 7pm! Bring your own boos!

Two old drunks are sitting in a bar when the first one says, “Ya know, when I was thirty and got an erection, I couldn’t bend it, even using both hands. By the time I was forty, I could bend it about ten degrees if I tried really hard. By the time I was fifty, I could bend it about forty five degrees, no problem. I’m gonna be sixty next week, and now I can bend it in half with just one hand.” “So,” says the second drunk, “what’s your point?” “Well, I’m just wondering how much stronger I’m gonna get.”

“Darling, I just called to tell you how awesome you are. You really are the love of my life…” “Sir, I’m sorry, this is a brewery!” “Oh, I know…”

A man goes into a restaurant where all the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt comes to his table and asks, “What would you like, sir?” He looks at the menu, scans her beautiful frame top to bottom, and then answers, “A quickie.” The waitress turns and walks away in disgust. After she regains her composure she returns and asks again, “What would you like, sir?” Again the man thoroughly checks her out and again answers, “A quickie, please.” This time her anger takes over, she reaches over and slaps him across the face with a resounding SMACK! and storms away. A man sitting at the next table then leans over and whispers, “Um, I think it’s pronounced ‘quiche.'”