These classified ads are perfectly, catastrophically wrong — and we can’t stop laughing

Before the internet, if you wanted to sell something, announce something or advertise your restaurant’s finest offerings, you placed a classified ad in the local paper. Someone typed it up, someone presumably read it back, and somehow – magnificently, gloriously – nobody caught the problem. Here are eight of the best. Read carefully. Then read them again.

A superb and economical restaurant. Fine food, expertly served by waitresses in appetising forms.

No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent.

Sale! Sale! An antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

We don’t tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

Great chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

Dinner Special – Turkey $2.75; Chicken or Beef $2.50; Children $2.00.

Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.