Monday giggle: the 90yo man has the last laugh

Three old men

Three old men are talking about their aches, pains and bodily dysfunctions. One 75-year-old man says: “I have this problem. I wake up every morning at 7am and it takes me 20 minutes to pee.” An 80-year-old man says: “My case is worse. I get up at 8am and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a bowel movement.” The 90-year-old man says: “Not me. At 7am I pee like a horse and at 8am I poo like a cow.” “So what’s your problem?” asked the others. “I don’t wake up until 9am”

Brother -in-law

A man suffered a heart attack and had by-pass surgery. He awakened to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic hospital. As he was recovering, a nun asked him how he was going to pay the bill.

He replied in a raspy voice, “No health insurance.”

The nun asked if he has money in the bank.

He replied “No money in the bank.”

The nun asked ” Do you have a relative who could help you?”

He said “Just a spinster sister who is a nun.”

The nun, slightly preturbed, said “Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God.”

The patient replied, “Then send the bill to my brother-in-law!”

Slow Clock

My wife complained that the kitchen clock had nearly killed her mother, as it fell off the wall seconds after where she had been sitting underneath it. That darn clock has always been slow.