Five jokes that go exactly where you think they’re going — and then somewhere else entirely

There is a particular pleasure in a joke that sets up one expectation and then quietly pulls the rug out from under you at exactly the right moment. These five are all built on that principle – and the last one in particular deserves to be read twice just to fully appreciate how neatly it wraps up. Pour yourself something and enjoy.

1 A young couple drove several kilometers down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked, “Are they relatives of yours?” “Yes,” his wife replied. “I married into the family.”

2 Three men are sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The first man presses his forearm and the beeping stops. The others look at him questioningly. “That’s my pager,” he says. “I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.” A few minutes later a phone rings. The second man lifts his palm to his ear. When he finishes he explains, “That’s my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand.” The third man, feeling decidedly low-tech, steps out of the sauna. In a few minutes he returns with a piece of toilet paper extending from his rear. The others raise their eyebrows. “I’m getting a Fax,” he explains

3 My wife and I decided not to have kids.  The kids are taking it pretty hard.

4 After the birth of their child, an Episcopal priest, wearing his clerical collar, visited his wife in the hospital. He greeted her with a hug and a kiss, and gave her another hug and kiss when he left. Later, the wife’s roommate commented, “Your pastor is sure friendlier than mine.”

5 A man drives his date up to lovers lane and parks. “I have to be honest with you” the woman says as the guy makes his move.”I’m a hooker”. The man thinks about this for a bit and decides he`s ok with it. He agrees to pay her $25 and they go at it. After they finish, the guy says, “Now I should be honest too. I`m a cab driver and its going to cost you $25 to get back to town”.