Irish comedian Dave Allen was one of the great masters of observational and irreverent humour, famous for his calm delivery, razor-sharp wit and a mischievous glint that let audiences know they were in for something clever. From the 1960s through the 1990s, Allen became a household name in Australia, the UK and beyond, with millions tuning in to his TV shows, stand-up specials and famously cheeky monologues about religion, life and human nature. This classic joke captures exactly why he remains so beloved today – smart, subversive and effortlessly funny.
An old drunk is on his way into a bar when a nun standing outside the bar suddenly speaks to him. “Your drinking is the easy road to evil and damnation. Drink will pollute your body and soul. Give up the foul spirits and live a better life!”
The drunk looks at her and asks, “How do you know that drinking is so bad for you?”
The nun looks puzzled and shrugs. The drunk asks, “Have you ever even tried a drink?” The nun admits she hasn’t, so the drunk tells her, “Listen, I’ll go into the bar and order myself a drink and I’ll get one for you too. I’ll bring it out here and you can taste it yourself and see that alcohol is nothing bad.”
The nun reluctantly agrees, but says, “I don’t want anybody out here getting the wrong idea about me, so would you mind bringing me the drink in a paper cup?”. The drunk agrees to this and goes inside. At the bar, he tells the bartender “Give me a double shot of whiskey, and a second-half shot in a paper cup.”
The bartender groans and says: “Is that bloody nun out there again?”
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