Little Susie complained to her mother that she had a terrible stomach ache.
“That’s because your stomach is empty,” the mother replied. “You would feel better if you had something in it.”
That afternoon, Susie’s father came home complaining that he had a severe headache all day.
Susie perked up and said: “That’s because it’s empty. You’d feel better if you had something in it.”
A man got his mother-in-law a cemetery plot for Christmas. It came with a coffin, tomb stone, the works. Next Christmas came by and the man got her nothing.
“Why didn’t you get me a gift?” the mother-in-law asked.
“You haven’t used the one I got you last year!” he replied.
An old lady decided to paint the living room when her husband went to the shops.
After her husband arrived home, he found his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat while wearing a fur coat and a thick winter jacket. He asked her what she was doing.
“I wanted to prove to you that even though I’m old, I’m still handy around the house. I decided to paint the living room,” she said.
The husband was impressed at the good job she had done, but asked: “Why are you wearing two coats?”
“I read the directions on the paint can and it said, ‘For best results, put on two coats’,” she replied.
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