An elderly couple are in church. The wife leans over and whispers to her husband, “I just passed wind, thank God it was silent!”
The husband leaned towards his wife and says, “The first thing we’ll do when we leave here is to get those hearing aid batteries changed!”
A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but didn’t want to spend a lot of money.
“How much do they cost?” he asked.
“They range from $2 to $2,000.”
“Can I see the $2 model?” said the customer.
The salesman put a large device around the man’s neck, and said: “You just stick this red tube in your ear and run this cable down into your pocket.”
“How does it work?” asked the customer.
“For $2, it doesn’t work,” said the salesman. “But when people see it on you, they’ll talk much slower and louder.”
An elderly man was having hearing problems and went to see a specialist. The doctor fitted him with some hearing aids that brought his hearing back to full strength.
After a few weeks the man came back to make sure the new equipment was working properly, which it was.
The hearing specialist said, “It all seems perfect. Your family should be delighted you can hear everything now.”
“Oh no,” the man responded. “I haven’t told any of them. I just sit quietly, listening carefully. I’ve changed my will four times.”