For past 10 years my wife has been complaining to me about not putting the cap back on the toothpaste. On our anniversary, I decided to change this bad habit and make my wife happy.
For a week I was diligent, always capping the toothpaste. I was expecting my wife to thank me, but she never did it.
Finally, last night she turned and looked at me and said, “Why did you stop brushing your teeth?!”
I bought a new ‘extra sensitive’ toothpaste the other day.
It’s doesn’t work any better. It just sits in the shower and cries.
I call my toothpaste ‘Death’ …
… Then I tell people, “I had a brush with Death this morning.”
Someone broke into my house last night.
They took all my soap, shampoo, deodorant and toothpaste. They made a clean getaway.