Three older gentlemen are out walking.
The first one says, “Windy, isn’t it?”
Second one says, “No! It’s Thursday!”
Third one says, “So am I. Let’s go get a beer.”
A man was telling his neighbour, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.”
“Really,” answered the neighbour. “What kind is it?”
Morris, an 82-year-old man went to the Doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm. A couple of days later the doctor spoke to the man and said, “You’re really doing great, aren’t you?”
Morris replied, “Just doing what you said, Doctor, ‘Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.’ ”
The Doctor said, “I didn’t say that. I said, ‘You got a heart murmur. Be careful.’ ”
An elderly gent was invited to his old friends’ home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms — Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc.
The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love.
While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host, “I think it’s wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names.”
The old man hung his head. “I have to tell you the truth,” he said, “I forgot her name about 10 years ago.”