Daily Joke: Hilarious epitaphs

Here are some fascinating and hilarious things written on old tombstones:

Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York

Born 1903–Died 1942.

Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.

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In a Thurmont, Maryland cemetery:

Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up and no place to go.

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On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in

East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:

Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102.

Only the good die young.

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In a London, England cemetery:

Here lies Ann Mann, who lived an old maid but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767

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In a Ribbesford, England cemetery:

Anna Wallace

The children of Israel wanted bread,

And the Lord sent them manna.

Clark Wallace wanted a wife,

And the Devil sent him Anna.

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In a Ruidoso, New Mexico cemetery:

Here lies Johnny Yeast.

Pardon him for not rising.

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In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake,

Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.

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In a Silver City, Nevada cemetery:

Here lays The Kid,

We planted him raw.

He was quick on the trigger,

But slow on the draw.

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A lawyer’s epitaph in England:

Sir John Strange.

Here lies an honest lawyer, and that is Strange.

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John Penny’s epitaph in the Wimborne, England cemetery:

Reader, if cash thou art in want of any,

Dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny.

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In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:

On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune.

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Anna Hopewell’s grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont :

Here lies the body of our Anna,

Done to death by a banana.

It wasn’t the fruit that laid her low,

But the skin of the thing that made her go.

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On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:

Under the sod and under the trees,

Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.

He is not here, there’s only the pod,

Pease shelled out and went to God.

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In a cemetery in England:

Remember man, as you walk by,

As you are now, so once was I.

As I am now, so shall you be,

Remember this and follow me.

To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:

To follow you I’ll not consent,

Until I know which way you went.

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