“Haven’t I seen your face before?” a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant.
“You have, Your Honour,” the man answered hopefully. “I gave your son violin lessons last winter.”
“Ah, yes,” recalled the judge. “Twenty years!”
A private school was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lip stick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip marks.
Every night the maintenance man would remove them, and the next day the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done.
She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
There are teachers… and then there are educators.
A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic to one little boy. So she said: “If you reached into your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached into your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?”
The boy shrugged. “Somebody else’s pants.”
“If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up” said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one kid rose to his feet.
“Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?” enquired the teacher with a sneer.
“Well, actually I don’t,” said the student. “But I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself.”