Heavenly timing: 3 prayer jokes with wicked twists - Starts at 60

Heavenly timing: 3 prayer jokes with wicked twists

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There’s something about bedtime prayers that feels sweet, innocent and wholesome … until the punchline lands.

If you enjoy classic joke-telling with a clever twist at the end, these three prayer-themed gags will have you chuckling – and maybe keeping an ear out next time someone says “goodbye” during grace.

1. The Mysterious Goodbye

One evening a father overheard his son saying his prayers:

“God bless Mommy, Daddy and Grammy. Goodbye Grampa.”

The father thought it was odd – but didn’t think too much of it.

The next day, Grandad passed away.

A month later he heard his son again:

“God bless Mommy. God bless Daddy. Goodbye Grammy.”

The following day, Grandma died.

Now the father was seriously worried.

A week later he overheard:

“God bless Mommy. Goodbye Daddy.”

The father barely slept. He left for work early, stayed all day, avoided traffic, skipped dinner and came home just after midnight – very much alive.

He apologised to his wife. “I’m sorry, honey. I had a terrible day at work.”

“You think YOU had a bad day?” she yelled.
“The MAILMAN dropped dead on the doorstep this morning!”

2. The Shortest Prayer Ever

A little boy was asked to say grace at family dinner.

He closed his eyes tightly and said:
“Lord, thank you for the food. Please bless Mum, Dad and the dog.”

Then he paused …

“And if you can’t make my broccoli disappear, at least make it taste like chocolate. Amen.”

Faith is powerful – but there are limits.

3. The Emergency Prayer

A man was caught in a storm at sea. Terrified, he fell to his knees and prayed:

“Lord, if you save me from this, I promise I’ll give up drinking, gambling and telling lies!”

Suddenly, the storm stopped. The sea became calm. The clouds parted.

He looked up at the sky and said, “Never mind – I think I can see land.”

Miracles are wonderful… commitment is harder.

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