Dear Bess: I Want to Switch Hairdressers in the Same Salon Without Offending Anyone

Dear Bess,

Sorry, this is a tad trivial, but I want to swap stylists at the hair salon I go to. I’ve been going to the same one for years, but there’s a new hairdresser and I like her cuts better. I don’t want to offend. Any thoughts?

Signed, Split Ends and Split Loyalties

Split Ends, please don’t apologise. This isn’t trivial at all. Anyone who has sat in the same chair every six weeks for years knows a hairdresser isn’t just someone who cuts your hair. They know about your grandkids, your knee replacement and your sister-in-law. It’s a relationship, and ending any relationship, even a small one, feels awkward. So let’s sort it out.

First, the reassuring part.

Clients move between stylists all the time, and salons are well used to it. Hairdressers know it happens, even if they’d rather it didn’t. People want a change, a new style catches their eye, or they simply click with someone new. You are almost certainly not the first client to switch within that salon, and you won’t be the last. It’s part of the business.

You’re also entirely entitled to have your hair cut the way you like it. You’re paying for it, and you’re the one who looks at it in the mirror every morning.

The simplest approach is usually the best.

In most salons, you don’t need to make an announcement. When you next book, simply ask the front desk for the new stylist. Most receptionists handle this smoothly every week, without fuss or explanation.

If you bump into your old stylist, and you probably will, keep it warm and brief.

This is the part that tends to worry people, but it rarely goes as badly as you fear. A friendly hello is all that’s needed. If she asks, you don’t owe her a critique of her cutting. Something kind and honest works well: “I just felt like trying something a bit different.” That’s true, it’s gracious, and it doesn’t make anyone feel they’ve failed.

What I’d avoid is pretending, ducking behind magazines or inventing elaborate excuses. Sneaking about makes it awkward for everyone, and in a small salon, the truth will be known within a week anyway.

If you’ve been especially close, consider a quiet word.

If you and your stylist have built a genuine friendship over many years, you might feel better telling her yourself, before she sees your name in someone else’s appointment book. Keep it short and warm, and thank her for looking after you all this time. Most professionals will appreciate the courtesy, even if they’re a little disappointed.

One more thought before you switch.

If there’s a particular cut you’ve admired, it’s worth asking yourself whether the issue is really the stylist, or the style. If you’ve simply settled into the same cut for years, your current hairdresser may be perfectly capable of giving you something new if you ask. Sometimes after a long time together, we both stop experimenting. But if you’ve already decided the new hairdresser’s style suits you better, that’s absolutely fine too.

The bottom line, Split Ends.

Be kind, be brief and don’t hide. Book the new stylist, smile at the old one, and enjoy your new haircut. Life’s too short for a hairstyle you don’t love.

Have a question for Bess? Write to her at [email protected] with “Dear Bess” in the subject line.

IMPORTANT LEGAL INFO This article is of a general nature and FYI only, because it doesn’t take into account your personal health requirements or existing medical conditions. That means it’s not personalised health advice and shouldn’t be relied upon as if it is. Before making a health-related decision, you should work out if the info is appropriate for your situation and get professional medical advice.