Five snooker jokes so bad they should be given a yellow card — and we mean that as a compliment

There is a particular kind of joke that only works if you know enough about the subject to understand exactly why it is so terrible. Snooker jokes are that kind of joke. You need to know your colours, your equipment and — ideally — have spent at least one rainy afternoon watching a frame go to a pink. If you have, these five jokes will make you groan in a very specific and deeply satisfying way. If you haven’t, now is as good a time as any to learn that a Russian snooker player called Innoff the Red is everything that is right and wrong about a good pun simultaneously. The Barbie-cue is the closer. We make no apologies.

What do you call a Russian snooker player? Innoff the red.

A man goes to the doctor complaining about stomach problems, and he asks him what he’s been eating.
“I only eat pool balls,” he says. “Red ones for breakfast, orange and yellow ones for lunch, blue for afternoon snacks, and black and purple for dinner.” “I see the problem,” says the doctor. “You’re not getting enough greens.”

I was waiting for ages to play snooker the other night but gave up. The cue was too long.

I’m going to have a break from stealing snooker equipment …. but first I’m just going to take a rest.

I used one of the kids dolls to play snooker. It’s now a Barbie-cue.