Five Peter Kay jokes that still make us laugh out loud

Peter Kay has a magical way of turning everyday life into comedy gold. From childhood memories to supermarket mishaps, his humour is warm, relatable and laugh-out-loud funny – the kind that doesn’t age and doesn’t need explaining. Whether you remember him from Phoenix Nights, his legendary stand-up tours or those perfect “garlic bread?!” moments, these five classic Peter Kay jokes are guaranteed to give you a proper giggle. Grab a brew, settle in and enjoy the nostalgia.

“You never know where to look when eating a banana.”

“Why does mineral water that ‘has trickled through mountains for centuries’ have a ‘use by’ date?”

“I think animal testing is a terrible idea – they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.”

“A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, ‘Sorry we don’t serve food in here.’”

“So this bloke says to me, ‘Can I come in your house and talk about your carpets?’ I thought, “‘That’s all I need – a Je-hoover’s witness.’”