By the time you reach your 60s, you expect the heavy lifting to be over. The kids should be grown, the mortgage under control, and retirement on the horizon.
But for many in today’s sandwich generation, that dream has been quietly replaced by a far tougher reality – one where love, duty, and finances are constantly pulling you in two directions.
You’re still helping your adult children find their feet, while also caring for ageing parents who can no longer manage alone. The heart never stops giving – but the wallet is starting to ache.
This is the third part of our Sandwich Generation series, and perhaps the hardest one to write, because it speaks to what people fear most: the slow erosion of financial security just when they thought they’d earned a little peace.
The real cost of caring: When love has a price tag
If you’re in your 60s and still caring for both generations, you probably already know what the research is only just catching up to. The costs are real, and they’re relentless.
A 2025 report found that carers aged 50 and over, spend an average of $1500 every month helping their parents with health and living expenses. That’s $18,000 a year – the equivalent of a small retirement fund – going out the door to keep Mum and Dad safe and comfortable.
And the support doesn’t stop there. Over 80 per cent of sandwich generation carers continue to provide financial help to their adult children – whether it’s groceries, rent, petrol, or emergency bailouts when life throws another curveball.
It’s love that keeps the money flowing – but it’s fear that keeps you awake at night. Fear that your own retirement dreams are slipping away. Fear that the years you worked so hard for will be consumed by everyone else’s needs.
Step 1: Face the Numbers – and the feelings
The first step in any financial repair isn’t just about numbers. It’s about honesty.
Sit down, clear the table, and take a hard look at what’s really happening. Write down what you spend on your parents, your children, your household – every bill, every bit of “just helping out”.
It can be confronting. Many people burst into tears during this step because the truth is heavy: you’re carrying too much. But knowledge is power. Once you see it, you can start to change it.
List your income sources – superannuation, part-time work, pension, investments. Then map out your debts and obligations. Be honest about the things you’re too scared to admit – like that you’re dipping into savings you swore you’d never touch, or that you’ve quietly taken on new debt to keep everyone else afloat.
Seeing it all laid bare is emotional – but it’s also liberating. Because once you’ve faced the truth, you can start fighting for yourself again.
Step 2: Stop the financial bleeding
You can’t pour from an empty cup, and you can’t save anyone if your own finances collapse. That means putting firm boundaries around what you can – and can’t – give. Start by asking: What are the biggest leaks in my financial ship?
Are you covering too much of your parents’ care costs out of pocket? Explore government subsidies, aged care assessments, and carer payments. You are not alone – and you are not expected to fund this by yourself.
Are you paying for adult children who could contribute more? These conversations are hard, but necessary. Love isn’t measured in handouts; it’s measured in honesty and self-preservation.
Are you drowning under credit card or mortgage debt? Talk to your bank about restructuring or refinancing. You might be surprised by how much breathing room you can gain.
And most importantly: don’t be ashamed to ask for help. A financial counsellor, aged care planner or super adviser can see paths forward you might have missed in the fog of fatigue.
Step 3: Reworking retirement – midstream, not overboard
It’s easy to feel like you’ve lost control of your retirement plan. But the truth is, it’s never too late to course-correct. Rebuilding your retirement at 60 might look different, but it’s still possible.
Start small. Even restarting super contributions – $50 a week – can make a difference. It’s a signal to yourself that your future still matters. Reassess your investments. You may need to shift toward a mix that gives you both income and security. Don’t go ultra-safe out of fear – you’ll need some growth to keep up with inflation.
Keep earning if you can. Whether it’s part-time work, consulting, or turning a hobby into income, every dollar coming in reduces the pressure.
Consider the family home. Downsizing or accessing home equity through ethical financial products can ease the load – but only after you’ve taken advice. Your home isn’t just a financial asset; it’s your emotional anchor. Remember: you’re not rebuilding from scratch. You’re rebuilding from experience.
Step 4: Protect what you’ve built – and the people you love
Even as you help others, your legacy matters. The money, memories, and lessons you leave behind tell the story of who you were. Now is the time to get that story in order.
Update your will and powers of attorney. Life has changed – your documents should too.
Communicate your intentions. Tell your family what you plan to leave, how you want to be cared for, and what you can and can’t give right now. Silence breeds confusion; clarity breeds peace.
If you lend money, put it in writing. Not because you don’t trust your children – but because you want to protect relationships from resentment later.
Think about your values. Maybe your legacy isn’t just money. Maybe it’s teaching your grandchildren resilience, or funding a cause close to your heart. A good estate plan is more than paperwork – it’s an act of love that outlives you.
Step 5: Reclaim control — and compassion for yourself
When you’re pulled between generations, it’s easy to forget yourself entirely. You become the reliable one, the strong one, the problem-solver. But underneath all that strength is someone who’s tired, scared, and quietly wondering how much longer you can keep this up.
Please know this: you are not failing. You are adapting to an impossible situation with grace and grit. You are balancing the needs of those you love with the fragile reality of your own future – and that’s heroic in its own quiet way.
It’s okay to draw lines. It’s okay to say “I can’t right now.” It’s okay to take a break, or to put your own retirement first. Because doing so doesn’t make you selfish – it makes you sustainable.
A story like so many others
Take Joan, 64, who found herself paying for her elderly mother’s in-home care while still helping her son cover rent. Every month, $2,000 left her account, and she couldn’t remember the last time she’d topped up her super.
One night, she realised she couldn’t keep going. “I was lying awake, staring at the ceiling, thinking – what happens when I’m the one who needs help?” Joan sat down with a financial adviser and her family. Together, they reduced her mother’s out-of-pocket care costs, set clear limits with her son, and restarted small super contributions.
Six months later, the money stress isn’t gone – but Joan sleeps again. She’s no longer surviving – she’s steering.
The Bottom Line
Being part of the sandwich generation at 60 is not a failure. It’s the story of a generation that has given too much, too long, with too little recognition.
But you still have power. You can still repair, rebuild, and reclaim your financial freedom – one boundary, one conversation, one decision at a time.
Because your legacy isn’t just what you leave behind – it’s how you choose to live, even now, in the middle of the storm.
Proudly Australian owned and operated