From courtship to coffee dates: How dating has changed over the decades

Remember the days when a “date” often meant a trip to the local dance hall, a milkshake at the corner café or perhaps an outing to the pictures?

Dating certainly looked a little different back then. For many of us, the rituals of romance in earlier decades bring back memories of slower, more deliberate connections — a far cry from today’s world of non-committal swipes, texts and apps.

Back in the 1950s and ‘60s, dating was usually formal and followed clear conventions. A young man might “court” a girl by first asking her father’s permission to take her out. He’d dress smartly, often in a button-up shirt and polished shoes, and turn up at the door with flowers or a box of chocolates. There was a sense of ceremony about it and a strong emphasis on respect and reputation.

Couples often met through mutual friends, school, church or community dances. Chaperones weren’t unusual either — especially for younger women — and being seen as too forward could earn someone a quick end to their chances.

Fast forward to the 1970s and ‘80s, and dating began to loosen up. The rise of more relaxed social norms, women entering the workforce in greater numbers and the influence of popular culture all shifted the way people connected. Meeting someone at work, a bar, or through university became more common. The idea of a “date” became more casual, too — maybe a drink at the pub or a picnic at the beach rather than a formal dinner and movie.

Compare that with today’s dating scene, which is often shaped by technology. Dating apps and websites have become mainstream, even among older Australians. While the idea of meeting a partner online might have seemed unusual and even dangerous years ago, it’s now widely accepted — and for many, quite convenient. There’s no need to wait to be introduced through friends or chance encounters at the supermarket.

Of course, the pace has changed too. Where once couples might write letters or wait days between phone calls, now there are texts, video chats and instant messages. Nowadays, dating is done at one’s convenience. It’s no longer an exciting affair or something to write in one’s journal about. That can be a bit of an adjustment for those re-entering the dating scene after a long break, whether due to divorce, separation or the loss of a partner.

Despite these changes, some things remain constant. The desire for companionship, shared values, laughter and kindness… those essentials haven’t gone out of fashion. Many older Australians today are embracing the idea that love and connection aren’t just for the young. Seniors’ social groups, community events, and yes — even dating apps geared towards over-50s — are helping people find new romance and friendship later in life.

So while the rituals may have evolved, the heart of dating is still the same: two people hoping to connect. Whether it’s over a milkshake in 1965 or a coffee in 2025, the joy of sharing time with someone special never really goes out of style.