There’s something irresistibly charming about Ronnie Corbett’s humour – gentle, clever, and delivered with that twinkle in his eye. His classic one-liners and rambling chair-side stories entertained generations, and they still hold up beautifully today. If you need a little pick-me-up, here are three of Ronnie’s best jokes to bring back that unmistakable British wit and hopefully give you a good chuckle.
A man was marooned on a desert island. One day a beautiful woman arrives in a wet suit. ‘When did you last have a smoke?’ she asks. ‘Five years ago.’ So she gets out a cigar and he smokes it. She unzips her wet suit a bit and says, ‘When did you last have a drink?’ He said, ‘Five years ago.’ So she gets out a bottle of Scotch and he has a drink. Then she unzips her wet suit a bit more and says, ‘And when was the last time you played around?’ He looks at her in amazement and says: ‘You’re not telling me you’ve got a set of golf clubs in there?’
A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston by-pass. Motorists are asked to be on the look-out for 16 hardened criminals.
We will be talking to an out of work contortionist who says he can no longer make ends meet.
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