Jimmy Carr’s comedy is not about comfort. It’s about timing, precision and that unmistakable laugh arriving just as you realise you probably shouldn’t be laughing at all.
Known for his jet-black humour and ruthless one-liners, Carr has built a career on saying the thing most people think – and then pushing it just a little further. These 11 jokes capture his trademark style: sharp, unapologetic and delivered with immaculate confidence.
“I did a sponsored walk once. In the end, I’d managed to raise so much money, I could afford a taxi.”
“My favourite road sign is ‘Falling Rocks’. What exactly am I supposed to do with that information? They may as well have a sign saying, ‘Random accidents ahead’; ‘Life’s a lottery, Be lucky.’”
“I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.”
“I’m not being condescending. I’m too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn’t understand.”
“When I was a kid, I used to have an imaginary friend. I thought he went everywhere with me. I could talk to him and he could hear me, and he could grant me wishes and stuff too. But then I grew up, and stopped going to church.”
“Swimming is good for you, especially if you’re drowning. Not only do you get a cardiovascular workout, but you also don’t die.”
“I saw a charity appeal in The Guardian the other day, and it read, ‘Little Zuki has to walk 13 miles a day just to fetch water.’ And I couldn’t help thinking, ‘she should move.’”
“I like to go into The Body Shop and shout out really loud, ‘I’ve already got one!’”
“Saying that you don’t believe in magic but do believe in God is a bit like saying you don’t have sex with dogs, except Labradors.”
“I did a gig in the US once for the homeless. I said, ‘It’s nice to see so many bums on seats.’”
“Say what you want about the deaf…”
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