Every Christmas table needs a moment of levity – somewhere between the ham carving and dessert – when conversation pauses and someone says, “Alright, I’ve got a joke.”
Christmas jokes don’t need to be clever or cutting. They just need to be easy to remember, safe to repeat, and good enough to produce a collective groan or a reluctant chuckle. These 11 Christmas jokes are ideal for sharing with family and friends of all ages – no explaining required, and no one needs to leave the table afterwards.
What do you call a child who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing, it was on the house
Who is never hungry at Christmas? The turkey — he’s always stuffed
Which of Santa’s friends is the most chilled? Jack Frost
What was Santa’s favourite subject in school? Chemis-tree
How do you get Christmas trees ready for a night out? They get spruced up
Why did Santa go to the doctor? Because of his ‘bad elf’
Which one of Santa’s elves has the best dance moves? Dancer
What athlete is warmest in winter? A long jumper
Why can’t penguins fly? Because they’re not tall enough to be pilots
How do Christmas trees get their emails? They log-on
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