Relationships

‘I miss the son I once knew’: Heartbroken mum’s fears for ‘angry’ adult son

Jun 29, 2018

A mother is worried her son has changed forever. (Picture posed by model).

A heartbroken mother has shared her worries that her adult son will take after his “verbally and emotionally abusive” late father, after a furious outburst broke their relationship “completely”.

While she says she’s always had a “close and loving relationship” with her son throughout his life, more recently he has become almost unrecognisable to her – and she “misses the son she used to know”.

Writing for the Washington Post‘s advice column Ask Amy, the worried mother pleaded for advice on how to mend her relationship before it’s too late, and admitted it’s even affecting her health as she’s unable to “eat, sleep or stop crying”.

Revealing her son is “highly successful in a demanding field”, she wrote: “The more success and recognition he gains, the harder he is on me, finding fault with little things. This leads to a lecture on my ‘bad behaviour,’ sending hurtful texts, and with the latest outburst, a complete breaking off our relationship.”

Recalling one recent incident, the woman said she had travelled to see him and his wife, as they’re expecting their first baby together, and had been warned by her son before she went that he was in “a tough emotional spot”.

However, despite her being “extremely careful”, she claims he launched “an immediate and vicious attack” on her calling her “narcissistic” when she innocently commented that she was happy the baby name they’d chosen was one she’d originally suggested.

“I was shocked and extremely hurt. I packed my things, said goodbye and left,” she explained. “He first sent me a text apologizing for hurting me, but then later sent a very angry, very hurtful message that essentially cuts me out of his life.”

Concluding her worried message, she added: “Amy, I do not know how to process my pain. His father (now deceased) was an angry, emotionally and verbally abusive man, and I see the same traits in my son. I miss the son I used to know.

“I have a chronic illness that for the most part is under control, but now I am unable to eat, sleep or stop crying. I am now worried about my health.”

Responding to her worries, ‘Amy’ insisted the woman must immediately put her health first, before asking what his “tough emotional spot” actually was.

“His volatile behaviour might indicate that he is struggling through some mental health challenges of his own,” the respondent suggested, before recommending the woman take it in stages without planning too far into the future – as well as getting some professional guidance for them both.

It comes after another mother admitted her adult son was “driving her up the wall” after returning home to live for a while. She previously took to online forum Mumsnet to vent her frustrations at her indulgent son, who was working at a local business on minimum wage.

While she was keen to broach the subject with her son, the mother was afraid of “starting a war” and upsetting him, as he had his own issues with anxiety and depression in the past.

Reactions to the mother’s post on Mumsnet came swift and fast with most fellow parents advising her to give her son a swift kick up the bum.

“I would point out to him how much he would be paying if he lived elsewhere and ask him to be considerate. I’m sorry to say this but you need to lay down some rules and grow a backbone!!!” one woman wrote.

“He is an adult! Are you his servant?” asked another. “Either charge him board or make him buy his own food. You do him no favours letting him live for free,” added one mum.